


If I Can't Have Him

by BeautifulMessOfMe



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Attempted Sexual Assault, Drunkenness, M/M, Pining, Pre-Curse of the Black Pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-04-27 03:38:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14416872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeautifulMessOfMe/pseuds/BeautifulMessOfMe
Summary: Barbossa drinks himself stupid pining for young Jack Sparrow. Ragetti is an unfortunate bystander in the wrong place at the wrong time.





	1. Chapter 1

The ship that he now commanded was but a loan from the brethren and Captain Teague. Compensation for his dear schooner, The Cobra, that had been sunk to the depths just months ago. 

Had Barbossa been quick enough to gut the scoundrel that committed the heinous crime, he might have been sailing on his very own ship now. 

Damn that Jack Sparrow. The bastard child had set free the murderous rogues and robbed Barbossa of another ship.

Now here he stood, forced to take orders from that same bastard child's father.

That there was someone above him in the chain of his vessel's command infuriated Barbossa, though of course he would have to make due with what he'd been given. 

Captain Teague had been incredibly generous, allowing him to Captain one of the ships in his fleet of rogue hunters. It was best that Barbossa at least act grateful.

But how could he? How could he behave in any positive manner when he'd been so viscously scorned?

Jack Sparrow! The fiend had seduced him, broken his way into Barbossa's cold stone of a heart, and then bitterly betrayed and left him stranded in a matter of only a few weeks.

A drunkard, Hector Barbossa was not, but at such a late hour, and with the sting of his internal woes creeping up on him once again, he saw no fault with indulging in the devil's nectar.

"Jack Sparrow...Ye' slimy, pox ridden sluggard..." He poured himself yet another goblet full of wine, having lost count of how many he'd downed before it. He didn't care. He didn't want to feel anymore.

.....

"Boy!" A frightfully large bo'sun manning the helm called to Ragetti.

The young lad shimmied down the ropes to the crow's nest and hurried over to the senior sailor. 

"Sir?" He inquired nervously, wringing his hands like a little school boy asking a pretty lass for a dance. 

"Captain needs to be told we're comin' up on Tortuga." The beastly man replied with the voice of a monster. "We'll be docked by mornin'. Go on, boy! Make haste!"

Ragetti jumped back, nearly tripping himself, and hurriedly, but with great caution ran along to the Captain's cabin.

"...Cap'n Barbossa?" He called timidly, knocking on the large double doors. 

There wasn't an answer straight away so he knocked again. 

"Whatdaye' want?" Came a low and stuttered reply.

That alone should have been a fair warning to steer clear of the Captain, but Ragetti was not a lad renowned for his intellect. 

"It's me, Cap'n. Ragetti." The boy continued, none the wiser of Barbossa's marinated state. 

"Come in..."

Ragetti pushed a door open ever so slowly. Even if he had received an invitation to enter, he still feared the wrath of his superior officers. The Captain was an especially frightening fellow, more so when angry and he was always angry.

"Jaack ye got the nerve of a man with balls 'a iron don't ye, lad?" 

Ragetti hadn't even gotten halfway past the threshold when the mind boggling question fled the Captain's mouth. He wasn't quite sure how to answer him. Perhaps Barbossa had mistaken him for another? Or maybe he'd been trying to address Ragetti by his first name and had forgotten what it was? 

"No, Cap'n. It's Mackenzie. Mackenzie Ragetti. Tha's alroight though, Cap'n. Lots 'a folk fergets me name..." 

Barbossa turned in his chair. He had been facing away from the boy, sipping on a silver goblet filled with fine, strong red wine. His eyes were glossy and they couldn't quite focus on anything properly. 

If Ragetti had been a wiser man, he would have quitted the cabin without another word.

......

Where some men found happiness in the bottom of a bottle, Barbossa seemed to find nothing but more despair and restlessness. 

Jack Sparrow had him netted, just as a skilled fisherman captured his own prey. 

Hector couldn't deny his affections for the lad, no matter how great his desire to forget. To make matters even worse, he doubted that anyone else on this earth could possibly match him the way that Sparrow did. 

Never before had he felt so challenged by a lover! The women he visited, even the ones whom he knew well, could never give him what that mischievous lad did. No other would spark the raging fires of Barbossa's vengeful pride. They would never touch him, kiss him, caress him or whisper to him like Jack. 

So this was his fate then. He was forever doomed to a dreadful existence of pining over a pink cheeked youngster who would likely never remember his name.

How dare that coward? How dare he lure him in to such a cruel, inhuman trap. 

Barbossa couldn't believe that he'd ever thought for one moment that Jack Sparrow might have cared for him...

An irritating knock at his chamber door roused his senses enough to respond, though he could barely hear himself speak.

He must have managed to invite the intruder in, for the boy was addressing him now. 

Hector turned around to face his guest and when his eyes were finally able to focus, he found himself looking upon the young deckhand that had saved him from drowning with the Cobra only months before. 

What a tiny thing he was, nearly defenseless without the protection of his imp of a partner. 

Hector wondered briefly just how it was that such an ugly brute managed to swindle a young, pretty lad into any kind of union, let alone a marriage.

This boy was not but seventeen, fresh out from under his mother's watchful eye. His cheeks were pinker than Jack's, and he had yet to grow even the slightest bit of manly stubble on his bony little chin. 

The longer Barbossa looked at the lad, the more aroused he became by his delicate frame, his messy sand colored hair, and that one wide blue eye watching his every move so carefully.

What a sight for sore eyes he was.

And why should that fat rage filled troll below deck be getting to keep all of the lad's intoxicating youth to himself? Why shouldn't he, Captain Hector Barbossa, have his own fair share? 

Furthermore, why should he have to sleep alone at all when his crew were lucky enough to enjoy the luxury of a lover's company? 

It simply wasn't fair! But no matter. Barbossa would make it fair. 

"Commere, lad..." He slurred, motioning violently with one arm toward himself. 

Luckily for him, a lad as young and as innocent as this one had yet to learn the crueler sides of a life at sea. 

The Captain smirked as the boy stepped slowly forward, closing the distance between them.

.....

"Cap'n? Did ya 'ear wat I been sayin?" Ragetti felt that questioning Barbossa may not be a smart decision, but something didn't seem right about the Captain. It was as if he didn't even realize that he was no longer alone in his cabin. Ragetti may as well have been invisible.

He watched Barbossa's unfocused gaze go from him, to the door behind where he stood, then to the window and finally to the bowl of apples resting on the desk where the captain was sitting in a slouched position. 

Barbossa didn't seem to be able to hear him either. 

This went on for some time. Ragetti tried explaining to his captain that they were nearing port, and that the bo'sun had wanted the message sent to him without even the slightest reaction from Barbossa.

Ragetti was a bit slow but he knew a drunk man when he saw one, and the captain was definitely pissed.

"Shall I go now, Cap'n?" He asked hopefully upon the realization of the captain's impairment, long bony fingers clasped together anxiously. He was eager to get back to Pintel. He didn't feel safe without him near by. 

Unfortunately Barbossa picked this as the one time to listen and respond to Ragetti's words. He began to wave his arm in a fashion that the lad recognized to be a request for him to come forward. However the words that rolled off the captain's lips were completely unintelligible. 

"Cap'n?" He asked, the brow above his good eye raised.

"Get over..!" Barbossa demanded, motioning for him to come closer once more. 

Foolishly, Ragetti obliged him and walked to the captain's desk.

"Yes, sir?" He asked. "Somefin' wrong, Cap'n?"

Barbossa stood, staggering, barely able to keep his balance. One hand clamped down on the edge of the desk to steady himself while the other grabbed onto Ragetti's shoulder. 

"Commere..." He muttered, a chuckle escaping him. Now Ragetti could smell the wine on his breath, so potent that he could have sworn the captain's blood must have been made of the stuff.

"Cap'n wha..?" The poor lad attempted to back away but Barbossa's other hand left the desk and clasped his waist, just above the hip, squeezing tightly.

"Pretty lad ye' are Jaack..." The intoxicated captain moved to place a sloppy yet forceful kiss to Ragetti's neck. His uncoordinated mouth bit and licked at the skin without care.

Ragetti panicked. "No! No! Get offa' me, Cap'n! Stop!" He put his hands out to push Barbossa away from him, but the older and stronger man caught the attempted counter attack and backed the boy into the nearest wall, pinning him there.

"Hold still now." He told him, grinding a burning erection against the struggling lad's thigh.

"Cap'n!..." Ragetti gasped when a rough hand groped his crotch. "I dun wanna! Stop it!" He fought to free himself but Barbossa was relentless.

"Lie back!" The elder pirate demanded, tired of his victim's unwillingness to comply. He grabbed Ragetti up by the collar and tossed him toward the bed. 

The lad landed hard enough to knock the wind out of a fully grown pirate three times his size, but somehow he was still able to land a powerful kick to the tender gut of his attacker the next time he came after him. 

Barbossa lost his balance and keeled over onto the floor. He vomited twice before everything around him went black.

Ragetti escaped out the door and passed the waiting bo'sun by in a hurry to get to the safety of his bunk and his waiting matelot.

Hopefully Pintel wouldn't have too many questions. The poor boy wasn't in the mood now to answer to anyone about anything that had just happened to him.

Why would he need to tell anyway? Captain Barbossa hadn't known what he was doing. He was so drunk he could hardly hold himself upright.

He had called Ragetti by another's name. What was it...? Jack! He'd called him Jack. The poor captain had mistaken him for an old lover of his. That's all it was. 

Besides, nothing too serious had happened and Ragetti was confident that Barbossa wouldn't remember a thing come morning. 

Relaying the incident to Pintel would only create unrest, and if his partner were to die defending him and his honor from Captain Barbossa, Ragetti would never know happiness again. 

So he said not a word as he quietly descended the steps to the gun deck and slipped into his hammock next to a snoring Pintel.

Still trembling with fright from his unexpected encounter, Ragetti rolled onto his side towards his lover and snuggled in as close to him as he could get, burying his face in Pintel's hairy chest. 

A few tears dripped from his remaining eye and he accidentally let out a soft sob.

Pintel awoke and wrapped a large arm, just as hairy as his chest, around Ragetti's thin frame, pulling him even closer against his body.

"Yer late ain't ya? Wats wrong now?" He muttered, sleep still tangled in his voice. 

"Nofin'." Ragetti replied, blinking and wiping the remenants of his tears away quickly before Pintel became conscious enough to notice them. "Bo'sun was yellin' at me." He lied. "I 'ate it when 'e does that."

"Dumb ol' blighter 'e is..." Pintel replied, kissing the top of his young matelot's forehead and then moving to his neck. "Why dun ya jus' turn yerself over an' I'll make it all better?" 

Ragetti shook his head and moved back just enough to get Pintel to stop. "I dun wanna do that now, Pint." He muttered. 

The older man frowned, obviously disappointed. "Wat? Why the 'ell not?"

"Tired. Real tired. Loike I'm 'bout to fall to sleep jus' lyin' 'ere." He avoided Pintel's eyes, even going so far as to shut his own, thinking it would help sell his claim of simple exhaustion. 

"You can sleep when yer dead, Rags. Commere now, get rid 'a these blasted things..." 

Ragetti stopped his husband's hands from yanking down his trousers. He was sure that Pintel could feel him shaking, if he hadn't already, and he hoped that he wouldn't ask what had him so spooked.

"I said I dun wanna tonight. Leave me be." He whimpered.

Pintel growled, frustrated, and turned over onto his other side away from Ragetti. 

"Fine then! You jus' keep bein' selfish loike that. See if I care..."

Ragetti twitched at the harsh response and settled down to try and get some rest.

He was unable to sleep for most of the night, fearful that the captain might decide to come after him again, though one thing did reassure him that he was not the true object of Barbossa's desires.

The Captain had called him Jack. Whoever this Jack was, it was him that Barbossa was lusting after. 

With this in mind, Ragetti was finally able to find enough peace to fall asleep.


	2. Tying Up Loose Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hector can't remember what happened, but he expects and prepares for the worst. Ragetti is just trying to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kind of thing is super hard for me to write because I very much prefer fluff! So I'm terribly sorry if this is the worst thing ever!

Barbossa didn't remember much about what had happened between him and the young deck hand.

The last few foggy memories he could conjure from the clouds in his head were his hands gripping onto a pair of narrow, bony hips and the taste of the boy's grimy skin when he had pressed his lips hard onto his long, string neck.

The boy had fought him and he'd cried, kicked, and screamed. After that it had all become a blur.

Hector had woken on the floor of his cabin, his breeches unlaced and pulled half way to his knees. 

His belly hurt (the lad must have landed a good punch or two there), and there was a puddle of what he suspected to be vomit on the floor. 

Barbossa cursed himself, as he was reminded of why it was he'd never been a drinker. Too much grog had sent many a man to their untimely grave, as it took all the sense they had once possessed right out of them.

Now it seemed that Hector Barbossa would be one of those unfortunate bastards if word of his ungodly behavior got back to Captain Teague.

The pirate code forbade the rape of any married sailor. The crime was punishable by flogging and seven years of imprisonment in the dungeons of Shipwreck.

Teague took it a few steps further in his own articles. Under his flag, the rape of any young sailor was punishable by death.

For the life of him, Barbossa couldn't remember if he had gone so far as to penetrate the lad, but if he had there would be no saving his neck from Teague.

For the time being he decided that he'd keep a close watch over young Ragetti. 

Barbossa had seen the faces of poor young men who had been subjected to unwanted and uninvited intercourse. He knew what to look for, and if he saw that same fear in Ragetti's eye, he'd be quick to cover his tracks.

He had to, if he wanted to keep his neck.

Hector ground his teeth together in frustration and silently cursed Jack Sparrow for unknowingly dragging him down into such a mess.

......

Ragetti whimpered as his hardened, leaking prick rubbed against the crate that he was currently bent over.

Pintel had a tight hold on his hips, yanking them back against his own cock while he pounded into the boy's slicked hole.

Fucking Ragetti was a lot like slinging a rag doll around to the older, much stronger pirate. The boy was so slight that his entire body bobbed back and forth when he yanked on the kid's waist. That was alright, though. Pintel liked him that way.

He slammed himself in deep and smacked the milky white skin of the young deckhand's pretty little arse. 

Ragetti whined at him and Pintel huffed out a chuckle. "Like that do ya?" He whispered in his lad's ear, nipping at the lobe.

Ragetti bit his lip, but he couldn't stifle the sob that escaped him as orgasm wracked his body.

Pintel pumped into him a few times more before he spilled over too, dowsing the boy's innards with his seed.

Ragetti swallowed his next sob, glad that he was able to stop it this time. Pintel deserved a pleasant evening after he'd been withholding intimacy from him for so many nights. Ragetti didn't want to ruin it all with his tears.

"Commere..." Pintel yanked him up after he'd unsheathed himself from his youthful matelot's puckering scabbard. 

The tender kisses Pintel began to place along his neck and face helped to ease Ragetti's troubled mind a good bit. 

"What're ya cryin' for?" 

The boy's thin frame tightened in his husband's arms. "M'not." He sniffled. He hadn't realized that the tears hadn't stopped. His pink cheeks were wet, glistening with the proof of his grief.

"Ya are, Rags. Yer doin' it now." Pintel insisted, wiping one cheek with his thumb to dry it. It didn't do much good. New tears fell to replace the old. "I weren't too rough on ya?" He asked urgently, worried that in his eagerness he had injured his lover.

"No..." Ragetti whimpered, rubbing desperately at his eye.

"Then wat in the 'ell's wrong? You been actin' odd." It didn't take long for Pintel to get frustrated, and Ragetti could tell that he was growing agitated. Still, how was he supposed to tell him what happened? He couldn't! 

"Leave me be." The boy pleaded, squirming to get free from Pintel's grip.

"You tell me wats wrong!" The bigger man snapped.

"No! Let go!" Ragetti pleaded, fighting to get out of the hold Pintel had him locked into.

"Christ, lad! Wats got into ya? Jus' 'old still..." 

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" Ragetti shoved him away hard and finally managed to free himself.

Pintel looked at him, confused and slightly hurt. Not that he would admit that. 

Ragetti's lip puckered up when he realized what he'd done, and that he'd once again let his mind get the better of him. 

This was NOT an assailant, intending to do harm. This was Pintel, the man who loved him.

"Pinters...I'm sorry...I jus'...I..I..."

Pintel narrowed his eyes at Ragetti. "What's the matter wif ya?" He asked him sternly. "You tell me now."

Ragetti looked down at the floor, crossing his legs to cover himself. He suddenly felt way too exposed. 

"I was...There was a man..." He started to speak. Already there was fire in Pintel's eyes. Whatever direction this was going in there wasn't any chance of it being a good one.

"A man?" He gritted his teeth together. Had Ragetti been running around on him? 

"Uh huh..." Ragetti nodded, not wanting to look up at his husband yet. He felt so dirty and ashamed, and he was certain that somehow he had been at fault for the Captain's actions. He shouldn't have approached a drunken man the way he had. Especially not a violent one like Barbossa. 

"You got somefin' to say? Spit it out!" Pintel growled.

"I'm sorry Pinters..." Ragetti trembled.

"You slimy little bilge rat! You been fuckin' someone else!" Pintel raged, standing quickly and throwing over the nearest crate he could find in anger. Various pieces of silver wear clattered onto the deck, making Ragetti flinch.

"N..no! No I didn't!" He assured his partner. "I didn't, Pinters! Nobody's 'ad me but you! I swears it!"

"Well wat the bleedin' 'ell are ya goin' on 'bout another man for!?" The bigger man demanded, stomping his foot down against the rickety boards.

Ragetti started to sniffle and cry again. "That man tried to force me..." He told Pintel. "I was comin' back from me watch an' 'e grabbed me arm an' 'eld me down."

All the fight Pintel had raging within him burned out.

"Ya swears it to me, lad?" He growled, the warning clear.

"Cross me 'eart, Pinters." The boy confirmed. "I kicked 'im an' he let me go. Otherwise 'e woulda 'ad his way wif me...I was so scared, Pint..." He hid his face with his bony little hands and the fire returned to Pintel's eyes.

"Who is 'e?" He growled. "I'll gut the bastard an' throw 'is rotten skin to the sharks!"

"I dunno." Ragetti whimpered. "I didn't see 'is face. T'was dark an' 'e 'ad me pinned down."

"I'll find 'im!" Pintel snarled.

"No Pinters, don't..." Ragetti pleaded. If Pintel discovered the perpetrator's identity then there would be a fight. And if a fight happened between him and the Captain, Pintel would almost certainly be killed. Ragetti could never go on if that happened.

"I jus' wanna ferget 'bout all this." The boy sniffed. "Please..." He reached for Pintel and the bigger man pulled him in. Ragetti felt a kissed pressed to his ear as he buried his face in his lover's broad shoulder.

"You stay close from 'ere on." Pintel grumbled. "No man'll dare lay 'is 'ands on ya while I'm around." 

Ragetti nodded and nuzzled against his husband. He was still shaky, confused, and very afraid but at the very least he had Pintel to hold him.

.....

Barbossa had seen all he needed to see. 

That wiry little worm had been a quivering mess for days, looking over his shoulder at every wee noise that reached his ear.

This had to be dealt with and it would have to be done quick. If Captain Teague found out that a man sailing under his flag had breached the code in such a volatile manner there would be blood to pay, and seeing as a majority of the crew he sailed with now were loyal to the old code keeper, Hector knew there would be little chance of a successful escape should word get out about his crime.

Barbossa didn't fancy being branded a rouge, nor did he much like the idea of a walk to the gallows. 

He would have to be certain that the little brat kept his mouth shut or shut it for him. 

Luckily for young Ragetti, the captain happened to still owe him a life debt, which put the latter option off the table.

"Master Ragetti..." Barbossa addressed the sandy haired lad after he'd sought him out. 

Ragetti felt a lump build in his throat and his stomach twist into knots as he looked up at the captain. 

"'Ello Cap'n." Pintel answered for the boy, dropping the brush he'd been using to scrub the deck. "Wat can we do ye for?" 

Barbossa kept his eyes focused on Ragetti but the young pirate wouldn't meet his gaze. 

"I'll be needin' a word with yer lad, Master Pintel. Alone, if ye please." Hector requested.

Pintel looked to Ragetti. "Go on then, Rags. I'll be 'ere when yer done." Trust that fool to never suspect his own captain. Barbossa grinned.

Ragetti cooperated of course, as to not arouse any suspicion in his mate.

"After you, lad." Hector invited, holding the door to his cabin open for Ragetti. The boy hesitated but obeyed, stepping in once more to the beast's own lair. His heart hammered in his chest.

"Sit down, boy." Hector took out his own chair and lounged back, looking for Ragetti's eyes but never meeting them. The poor thing wouldn't dare look up, nor would he speak.

"Ye think I brought ye here to have yer fer me own, yer sorely mistaken." Barbossa explained, pouring himself a goblet of wine then offering another to Ragetti, who declined. He could see the lad shaking now.

"I thought it fair to give ye' a proper apology face to face. Ye caught me in an unforgivin' state an' I'm sorry ye did. A wonder what a man'll do when he's got a bit 'a the devil's nectar in his belly..."

Ragetti tried to swallow the ever growing knot in his throat but he ended up letting out a choked sob instead.

"Ye've nothin' more to fear, master Ragetti." Barbossa promised. "It won't be happenin' again. On me honor, it won't."

Ragetti breathed out slowly. He didn't know what to say. He could only listen and pray that this time the captain was telling the truth and only the truth.

"Understand this, boy. We'll be havin' to keep this little misunderstandin' between the two of us." Hector pushed on. "What I done were shameful enough, but if word got out they'd put you away too. Goin' back on yer matelotage vows, now that's cause fer imprisonment if I'm not mistaken? Ye know what they do to pretty lads like you in a pirate's prison?"

And just like that, Ragetti tensed again. Any relief that had come to him with the captain's apology was lost.

"Bu..but I didn't..."

"No ye didn't lad, but do ye think the court'll believe ye? Do ye think yer man'll believe ye? If the answer to either 'a those questions be anythin' but yes then yer best bet is to ferget all 'a this. Ye hear that?"

Ragetti nodded slowly, biting into his bottom lip to keep from bursting out into tears. 

"I'm lookin' out fer the both of us." Barbossa assured him. "Ye keep that mouth 'a yours shut 'bout what happened an' we'll be just fine."

Ragetti nodded again.

"There's a good lad." Barbossa smiled, extending a hand to seal the bargain. To Ragetti, however, it looked like a humble peace offering. What a fool he was. Barbossa had been banking on that.

"Oh, and another thing..." He said, standing from his chair and reaching into his pocket. "Seein' as I've caused ye' so much trouble, I thought I'd give ye this to make amends." 

Ragetti's eye widened with utter shock when Barbossa handed over a prosthetic eyeball, carved from wood. 

"Take it, lad. It's yers. Keep it safe fer me. I carved that thing from me own piece of eight. If it's lost, so goes my lordship."

Ragetti's mouth was agape. Barbossa's piece of eight? His title as a pirate lord? And the captain had carved it into a wooden eye just for him? 

Barbossa must have really been regretful of what he had done. 

"You'll keep it safe, lad? Treat it well?" The captain enforced once more, drawing another nod from Ragetti. 

"I will, Cap'n." He agreed, finally finding the courage and the confidence to speak. 

"Good. I'll be doublin' yer pay as well. You an' yer man's."

"Fank ya, Cap'n. Fanks a lot." Ragetti muttered nervously. 

"All is forgiven then, I hope? We can put this blunder behind us?" Barbossa questioned him.

Ragetti nodded yet again. "Yes sir." He confirmed. "I forgive ya, Cap'n."

"Good then. Yer free to go...And remember, lad, this be our little secret. Aye?"

"Aye." Ragetti turned to leave, and that was that.


End file.
